Should I lose 10lbs? The Mindless Chatter within Me

I think I have this thought daily.  “I would look and feel so much better if I could just lose 10lbs….”

As much as I try my best to be a balanced person and to help inspire others to be more balanced in life (in terms of health and fitness) I still struggle daily with mindless chatter.

I rarely act on the thought to lose 10lbs though.  I think the main reason is that I am just not willing to do the work. However, I still have this annoying voice each day saying that “life would be that much better” if I could just lose those “pesky” 10lbs.

I think this happens to me for a number of reasons:

1.  I was lighter in high school

I was about 10lbs lighter in high school until I reached the age of 20. When I put on 10lbs my sophomore year, I never really was able to get them all off (and never really tried besides a couple of crash diets that allowed me to shed the weight for about 2 days before I ate my entire sorority house!)

I was always very thin in high school so when I gained 10lbs I began to feel as though I just kind of blended in with the crowd, if that makes sense.  I was just plain average.

I know that transitioning from high school to college is challenging as you are changing physically, emotionally, and intellectually and I have accepted that my body changed as well as my dietary habits.

I logically know that my weight now is still very healthy for my body, but I still have those pesky thoughts on getting my weight back down.

2.  I compare myself to others

I am always comparing myself to others.  Other bloggers, celebrities, and friends for example.  While sometimes looking at others who I admire brings me motivation to work harder in the gym, I also have a tendency to allow it to tear me down which is just a waste of energy.

3. I think being skinnier will bring happiness

I logically know this to not true yet sometimes I envision myself skinnier with a lot more confidence.  Although I know for a fact that skinniness does not = happiness (I had worse body confidence when I was skinnier than I do now), I still have these negative thoughts.

What do I do about it?

I give myself daily pep talks. For instance this morning I had the mindless chatter going on and I said to myself (in my head, not out loud!):

“If you really want to lose 10lbs you will make choices that will lead to that and maintain it in a healthy manor.  However, if you do not want to take steps to do that than stop complaining about it!  Complaining about it gets you no where! You look great now and you are healthy, so just shut up and enjoy your life”.

I kid you not I say this often to myself and it works to shut out the nasty thoughts.  I mean honestly, what does complaining about one’s looks get you? Absolutely no where.   Action gets you somewhere, complaining does not.  It’s pointless.

And so here I am, another day, another pep talk.  It really is a daily struggle to maintain some sort of balance in life, but I do try my best!

Questions:

  • What do you do when you have negative self talk going on in your head?
  • Do you compare yourself to others?
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29 responses to “Should I lose 10lbs? The Mindless Chatter within Me

  1. I really like the topic of your blog (you’re listed as one of my Fave Blogs on my site 😉 )
    Yes! I do compare myself to others and have negative self-talk. It’s very hard to overcome. Last October, I got sick after going to Egypt and started losing a few pounds, which turned into 12 so I was in the low 100’s and part of me was jumping for joy and the other part was like, “hmmm, weight loss does not = happiness.” Go figure! I’ve gained some weight back and still wish I could see those low numbers, but I would much rather be happy and do one of things I like most in this world: EAT! 🙂 Have a great day!
    Shanna

  2. I love this honest post. I still struggle with this, too. I don’t think about losing weight so much, but I compare and think of a “flatter stomach” or “toned arms,” etc. I usually think of what I would have to do to get those things or if it’s even reasonable.

    I will not cut the carbs that keep me training for a marathon, for example – it’s nice to know I’m not alone in my thoughts!

    Keep thinking positive – happy Wednesday!

  3. Ah the chatter. Don’t you just hate that pesky chatter! One of my resolutions this year was to stop with all the negative talk. It’s a daily struggle. The 2nd the negative thought pops in my head, I try to find at least one positive thing I do like. I have conversations with myself all day long!!!! But in reality – will being skinnier make you happier? I have to remind myself of things like that – will tighter abs or bigger muscle truly do the trick? Or will I just find something else to nitpick???

  4. I really appreciate this post today! I too struggle with negative thoughts about myself. I try to find a quote each day to use as an intention to keep myself motivated.

  5. I think we all struggle with this. My voice says 5 pounds…

    I love your response to it. Because it’s true- to really change you have to want it. And honestly, I think I struggle with wanting “skinny” and also “healthy athlete” at the same time. So far, I’ve been enjoying the way I look and feel in the “athlete” category much more… 🙂

  6. I love how honest you are in this post. I think to some level, we all struggle with the negative talk and we all think “if only I lost those 10 pounds”. There are definitely days I struggle with this and compare myself to others, but I try to remind myself that I lead a healthy lifestyle, eating well and exercising and that’s really all that’s important!

  7. Shelley (findinghappinessandhealth)

    this is a struggle that i’m sure thousands of women can relate to. I think your last quote says it all though. You are healthy and beautiful now, so why put yourself through the annoyance of losing weight? I thnk you will make a decision that will make you happiest in the end! You are so smart & strong, balance is hard but I think you’ve done a great job ing etting close!!
    xoxoxoox
    shelley

  8. As always I love your honesty. I feel this way constantly except I say 20 lbs. I did it this morning. I’m willing to do the work in the gym but not in the eating department, so until then I need to love who I am regardless. I will not be a better person, happier, funnier, smarter, just by being lighter on the scale.

    Thanks for always keeping it real- i think a big part of your ability to inspire others to choose balance also comes from your honesty. I never feel like you are trying to be perfect or say that a healthy life is SO easy and doesn’t include treats and the occasional negative thought!

    Have a good day Linds- and as you know, I think you look AMAZING just as you are. Athletic, slim, fit, and healthy!

  9. Great post Lindsey!
    I do battle these voices too, though I am slim and I know I don’t need to lose any weight whatsoever..I can’t help but sometimes see a girl on the street who is perhaps slimmer than me, and think envious thoughts.
    To deal with the negativity within, I give myself a good,rational talking to.
    – Hello, Me, you know you are slim and look great
    – You are strong, and have the energy to do what you like to do… if you try to “diet” you would feel weak and crappy
    – You were never happy anyway, even 10lbs lighter you had the same thoughts and if anything they were worse, not better. You were LESS happy, not more.
    – Food is delicious.

    😀

  10. i constantly compare myself to others and everytime something good happens to me (eg i get an interview or a new job) i feel if i lost a bit of weight it would prove how grateful i am. uhh i hate it!

  11. Loved this post Lindsey- really hit home. As I’m sure you have read on my blog about my image/ exercising habits- they have gotten extreme.
    I ALWAYS compare myself to others- part of my problem. I always see celebrities & think, oh, I’ll just workout an extra 30 minutes..that will help me get to look like that, but then that turns into craziness in the head. – thinking WAY too much about exercising, how I should restrict calories, bad bad bad. I’m working on changing all of that & accepting my body.
    I think it’s a slippery slope- you start thinking too much of those things..and then the thoughts keep coming up more & more.
    You look GREAT & I love your honesty in this post!

  12. Gosh, I feel the EXACT same way. I act like I don’t care about my weight, but on the inside I’m constantly comparing and wondering if I’m good enough. I love the idea of pep talks 🙂

  13. I love the idea of little self pep talks! What a great post. I love that you even respond to struggles in a healthy way – what a great lesson. If we did NOT struggle we would not be human ; )

  14. Thank you for this post – it was so honest. I struggle with this a lot too. Not necessarily with weight loss, but just with comparing myself to others in general.

  15. gotta love the pep talks. I say pretty much the same thing to myself. Either DO IT and do it in a healthy way or shut up about it and love yourself as is.

  16. flowyogilates

    Great post! Thank you so much for being so open! I try not to compare with others but it is not always easy. Especially my job as fitness instructor makes it hard to ignore the whole figure- stress but I´m trying my best to distance myself from it again and again

  17. This was a good post and thank you for revealing this side of you to us. Sometimes it is good to hear that other people struggle as well. I am the world’s worst at comparing myself to others and I do it all the time. I struggle so badly with it! What’s funny is that I am so stoic that most of my real life friends don’t know this about me. I guess admitting it on your blog seems “safe”…thanks for the tips! I will try to remember these the next time I see someone I think looks better than me. 🙂

  18. ohh of course I have these talks with myself all the time…what if I was 5 or 10 lbs less…well then put in the work and do it! but then again I wouldn’t be able to enjoy things that bring me such utter happiness like wine and good bread and good cheese etc…I think I am very happy with myself, and have to appreciate everything I have and how hard I work. Sure those voices will still be there, but I try to block them out!

  19. i used to always do this. but the only thing i think you or anyone can do is to just look at it for what it is “a mindless thought” … im reading such a great book that talks all about this “Food is not the problem:Deal with what is” by Michelle Morand. She is an eating disorder counsellor who talks so thoroughly about this exact thing.

    whatever the thought is or whatever we tell ourselves that sums up a feeling that we arent good enough in the state we are right now, always reflects that there is some greater need that is going on inside of us that we are not giving enough attention to. instead of understanding what the need is (ie. love, security, acceptance, approval etc).. we end up using coping strategies like turning to food or trying to fix the outside in a percieved effort to fill that need or hole that we feel.

    hope that made sense. xoxo ❤

  20. I definitely give myself pep talks! Sometimes I feel like I have two people walking around in my brain – the one who gets sucked into all of the diet/weight loss drama, and the real Katie who knows better than to believe all of that. This is almost embarrassing, but I have been known to talk to that first inner voice – out loud – as if it really is a separate being. My husband will walk into our bedroom and I’m standing in front of the mirror saying, “shut up, that’s not true!” Haha!

  21. It’s so great to hear that you counterract that chatter in your brain with realistic thoughts! Yes, I am very guilty of comparing myself to others and questioning the way I eat, live, exercise, etc, etc. In fact, I’m finding myself in that struggle right now thinking that I should be eating more like a personal trainer (5-6 small meals a day, protein & carb with every meal, more “clean” food, etc) because I AM a personal trainer. Somehow it just doesn’t seem like the way I want to eat though and then I feel hypocritical. Right now I’m not worrying about losing weight since I’m pregnant, but I often think about what I want to do post-baby and I feel very conflicted! I have those “I’d feel/look/like myself” better/more thoughts alllll the time – well – all the time before now and I worry that they’re going to creep back up on me when she’s born!

  22. You put this in words so perfectly. I think we do all of the above; compare to when we were younger and compare to others. Trust me I do it too. When this happens though, I just walk away and distract myself (go out or do something) OR I will do what you do, talk it out with myself and either make a change or just DROP IT.

  23. Oh my gosh, I compare myself to people all.of.the.time. I know it’s a terrible thing to do, but it just happens, without thought. When I notice myself going into comparison overdrive, I just try to remind myself that everyone is different, with different circumstances, and that I’m super great the way I am. Sure, sometimes I think I might look better 10 lbs. lighter — but then I wouldn’t be able to enjoy that extra dessert that I know and love. 🙂

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  25. I feel the same way about my “pesky 10 pounds”. Honestly, I hate feeling like I blend in. I also hate that I can’t wear my favorite clothes bc they are too tight. I also compare myself WAY too often.

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